How to live a ‘soft life’ as a mom

I remember scrolling and seeing this exact photo of Ciara (one of my favorite artists), nursing her sweet baby, glowing, and captioned “Motherhood can be your soft girl era too.”

At the time, I was deep in a season of struggle. I had been finishing school, recently moved back home, and felt so far removed from the “soft space” I once lived in. I was in a season of “starting over”—again, and nothing felt good about it.

But when I read those words, I knew exactly what she meant. I had lived it before, and it reminded me that it was still possible to return to it.

Still, as I often do when scrolling, I clicked into the comments, and what I found broke my heart.

So many women didn’t understand what she meant:

• “Well, you’re rich, of course it’s soft for you.”

• “You have a husband, so that’s easy to say.”

• “Girl, you have help, of course it’s soft for you!”

• “If I had a man like Russ, I’d say this too.”

And maybe those frustrations were valid, coming from real pain points, but it saddened me that so many women had no idea the soft power they already possess as mothers. Because the truth is: softness isn’t contingent on money, or a man, or status.

The Struggle Narrative of Motherhood

For many of us, the story of motherhood has been flooded with images of struggle: long nights, endless clean-ups, overstimulation, postpartum depression, meltdowns, the list goes on. And yes, those moments are real, but what about the beauty?

The gift of being the first home for your baby. The source of nourishment. The one they learn how to do life from. The magical firsts—watching them grow from baby to teen. Each stage brings challenges, but it also brings awe.

Motherhood itself can be a soft life practice—if we shift our perspective.

The shift into “soft-life” Motherhood

For so long, I believed I had to be “saved” by a man to finally breathe, to finally access softness. I thought I had to wait for the perfect partner, financial security, or a rescue plan.

But the truth was—the only person keeping softness from me was me.

As a single mom of two boys, choosing softness hasn’t always been easy. It’s meant digging into parts of myself I had been avoiding. Confronting old stories I had been holding onto for too long. Choosing calmness and peace in my body so my boys could experience a happy, grounded mama.

Motherhood often pulls us into masculine energy—doing, fixing, providing, holding it all together. But that rigidity leaves no room for softness unless we intentionally choose it. For me, the first step was self-awareness. The next was deciding to shift.

7 Ways to Start to Live a Soft Life in Motherhood

Softness doesn’t cancel the hard moments. But it does give us tools to navigate them with more peace, flow, and grace. Here are seven practices that have helped me create softness in motherhood:

1. Decide you’re responsible for your life.
   I was Mesha before my kids, and I’ll still be her once they’re grown. Taking care of myself is part of being the best mom I can be.

2. Define your ideal day.
   Even if you’re not living your “dream life” yet, identify small shifts that bring joy, flow, or ease into your daily routine.

3. Practice daily gratitude.
   Gratitude shifts your energy. When you begin each day noticing what’s good, it’s harder to complain about what isn’t.

4. Shift your self-concept.
   Reframe your identity from “struggling single mom” or “life is always chaotic” to “soft, capable, grounded.” Our stories shape how we live.

5. Regulate your nervous system.
   Most of us wake up and dive straight into autopilot. Breathwork has been a game-changer for me, reducing stress and bringing me back into calm presence. (If you’re curious, I recommend Wim Hof’s method—he has an app and even has free sessions you can do daily on YouTube)

6. Move your body daily.
   Movement gives energy back. It doesn’t have to be intense—gentle stretching, a walk, or a quick workout at home can shift everything.

7. Create small micro-routines.
   Evening resets, morning rituals, tidy-ups, and systems that allow your day to flow. Structure doesn’t cancel softness—it creates it.

👉 If you want a step-by-step way to start your days softer, grab my free Soft Morning Reset Plan here.

Redefining the Soft Life

There’s nothing wrong with wanting luxuries, spa days, or vacations. Those can be part of a soft life. But true softness isn’t purchased—it’s practiced.

For some women, that practice might look like prayer, therapy, or inner child work. For me, it’s been self-concept shifts, creating daily routines, and building structure that grounds me in who I want to be.

Because the truth is, motherhood doesn’t have to cancel softness. It can call us to it.

Final Word

You don’t have to wait for someone else to give you the soft life. You don’t need a man, money, or perfect circumstances. Softness is already within you, and you have the power to choose it.

And your children deserve to see you live it.

✨ Start tomorrow softer—download the free Soft Morning Reset Plan and begin your motherhood era with more peace, flow, and confidence.